simulacrum of life

i try not to dwell on the negative occurrences in life, and for the most part, i do succeed. sometimes though, the accumulation of a few months worth of negativity bubbles to the surface, and it feels like someone's tied a millstone around my heart. the depths to which it sinks causes a pain of the physical sort. to have your heart literally ache because of emotional turmoil is not something that i'd wish upon anyone. the sad thing is that during times like these, i can't point to any one thing and say that it's responsible for my current emotional state. truly frustrating. i yearn for a time when life is uncomplicated. for a time when what i see is REALLY what i get. sometimes, tears really do wash away the pain and anyone who denies the therapeutic effect of shedding tears needs to lose their macho facade.

i was writing about my irritating neighbour just now when my computer decided that i'd been spewing too much vitriol for my own good and she decided to hang. i took that as a sign not to continue with that post. belatedly i remembered that if i can't say anything good about someone i should just not say anything at all.