simulacrum of life

WARNING: it is highly advisable that you do not read this book in public, because frequent uncontrollable fits of laughter might have people around you thinking that you are probably a wee bit off your rockers.

in this work of fiction, the characters are based on the british royal family. the book reads like a mix of monty python, naked gun and at times, waxes lyrical.

let me describe a short scene that had me rolling around in stitches.

the prince and princess of wales, freddy and fredericka, are staying in their private residence moocock and fredericka's pit bull (named after her personal nutritionist who died of malnutrition) has run away. the only way that the staff know of getting the dog back is to smear a person's face with gorgonzola cheese (VERY STINKY cheese) and call out the dog's name. and eventually the dog would return to lick the cheese off, and whilst it's doing so, the person would clip on the leash. unfortunately only the dog's keeper and the prince are qualified to do so, and since the keepr is not around, it's up to good ole freddy to do the deed.

so we have the prince of wales trotting around a village yelling out the dog's name, which incidentally is "pha-kew". (say it out loud, maybe not so loud if you're around polite company) anyways he goes around asking villagers "i wonder if you've seen my dog, pha-kew" to which he gets appropriate responses. and just as a wedding party is heading out of a pub, he notices the dog just beyond the party, so he runs helter skelter toward it screaming at the top of his voice "pha-kew!! pha-kew!! pha-kew!!"

0300: feeling dozey as the germany vs italy match kicks off. thinks to self if going by past few matches and knowing germany and italy, will probably end regulation time 0-0. slipping in and out of consciousness knowing that i won't be missing much.

0345: feeling more awake after munching on potato crisps with tabasco sauce.

0400: match re-starts. the feeling that there won't be a goal dwells on. starts slipping back into semi-consciousness. being jarred into a state of semi wakefulness every few minutes due to puja's comments.

0445: expectations met. 0-0 full time score. damn!! should have bet. couldn't be arsed to though.

0455: feeling quite awake after chugging down a can of red bull. we are all hoping that italy scores in extra time, because got a feeling that if it comes to penalty shoot outs germany would win, due to klinsmann's study of opponent's penalty kicking patterns and lehmann being a good 'keeper. extra time kicks off.

0510: needn't have bothered with the red bull. with the near misses that have come along. hardly any midfield play. all the action at both ends. all sitting on the edge of our seats cursing when it looks like germany might score, and heaving sighs of relief when they don't. ready to jump up and down and scream when italy almost scores, but ending up in moans of frustration.

0527: italy scores and we go wild!!!! jumping up and down screaming. looks like no penalty shoot. out. germany scares us by almost equalising. italy counterattacks and del piero seals the fate of the germans with a clinical strike, as the dying action of the match. talk about adding insult to injury. YAY!!! hugs all round. puja and i are especially overjoyed. we got crap luck. the teams we support never make it until now :Þ huge adrenalin rush :D

technically competent, emotive without being overly theatrical, and the timely interjection of humour into an otherwise serious affair made anuja's arangetram an occassion not to be forgotten. i don't think anyone would have realised how badly her knees were killing her, for not once did it show. i'm quite sure more than a few people were worried if her knees would last til last night, but they did the job. so, hooray for anuja's knees :Þ. i do believe that an arangetram is the equivalent of the masterpiece of the middle ages, when fully fledged artisans produced their first solo piece. but even in the modern sense i think most of the audience would have agreed that anuja's performance was outstanding.

lots of people who perform their arangetram view it as the final step, after which they tend to more or less quit the artform. but learning doesn't stop when you graduate. it's just the beginning of a new journey. i hope we can continue to be entertained by anuja's dances in the years to come.