simulacrum of life

life never seems to want to follow the plan i set out for it. i planned to not have any romantic aspirations and to not let my heart be open to letting anyone in. but she had to come along and throw me off course. eyes that spoke volumes. like a siren's song, she drew me to her. i wonder if she knows the effect that she has on me.. a beautiful soul whom i'd love to get know better. our paths have been similar and we could be sooo much more. god only knows if either of us would be willing to take the plunge.

U2 once sang about bloody sunday when british paratroopers opened fire upon a group of unarmed and peaceful protesters in ireland. 13 people were killed then.

yesterday, no deaths were reported, but i feel extremely saddened at the events that took place on cronulla beach in sydney, a city that i have called home on and off for the past 6 years. and what scares me even more is that if i had been there, i could have been a victim, since i have been mistaken for a lebanese before.

equality amongst races is all talk. it's funny, because my boss just used the phrase that "equality is just skin deep". the sad truth is that racism is just that.. skin deep.

this post is quite belated and frankly, i wasn't intending to blog about it, but boredom does wonders.

dinner
dinner was at original sin, where the ambience was cozy and food was fab. we kicked off the evening with a couple of cosmopolitans. our cocktails were accompanied with bruschetta pommodoro . the picture here doesn't really do it justice, for i must say, it was very nicely presented. the tomato pieces were nice and juicy and the olives were fresh. not the highly preserved type you usually get.

with our appetites whetted, we proceeded onto the mains. anuja had the moussaka (left). the bechamel sauce on the moussaka was just right. neither too rich nor too thin. and with just the slightest hint of nutmeg to add that little sweet touch. the hint of fennel seeds lent a mediterranean taste. i had the ricotta cake (right). the size of a large muffin, it was basically a rather exotic kinda quiche. topped with caramelised onions, and drizzled with plum sauce, the taste was divine. and to appeal to my rabbit side there was a lovely mesclun dressed with balsamic vinegar.

to round off dinner, we had chocolate mudcake. EXTREMELY chocolatey. thankfully not too sweet. nice garnish of blueberries, raspberries and strawberries. the fruitie in me was satisfied =) and lovely vanilla gelato to temper the slight bitterness of the chocolate and the tartness of the berries. all in all, i'd say it was a lovely dinner.

after dinner and the company
as mentioned before (briefly), my date for dinner was the lovely anuja. a wonderful dinner companion and all-round conversationalist. she had me enchanted through out the evening. dinner ended with the both of us feeling fat, and also because it was kinda early, we decided to go for a walk. kent ridge park is a wonderful place for a walk. only problem is getting there. there's a lovely canopy walk, which ic basically a wooden path suspended over the foliage. too bad it was dark. would have been a lovely sight to behold in the light of dusk. walked all the way to bukit chandu and then back to the car, and we still weren't satisfied, so off we went to west coast park.

west coast park has changed sooo much since the time i last went there, which was more than 10 years ago. with all the work going on there now, couldn't even get a glimpse of the sea. after making our way around west coast park, we realised that we still had time to burn, and i'm not sure who thought about it, but we decided to go to sentosa.

a nice place to drive around, especially late at night when there aren't pesky tourists popping up like obstacles. we parked at tanjong beach and walked along it. and we saw this wooden bridge which led to this mini island on which a 3 or 4 storey wooden structure had been constructed. so we crossed the bridge and there we stood at what was labelled "the southern most point of the asian continent" or something as lame as that. before we could get around to climbing the structure, anuja noted the presence of rats, which had her in a state of mortification, and so we quickly ran back across the bridge to tanjong beach proper.

back i drove to drop anuja at her hostel to the sounds of secret by maroon 5 booming away.

anuja and i both came to the conclusion that the places we went to were helluva romantic spots. the only thing wrong with the picture was the company. it wasn't bad, just that neither of us would be the other's ideal partner to utilise the full potential of such romantic locations =) she referred to it as the perfect date. i more or less do agree..

sitting here right now, i think i'm beginning to understand how a commercial pilot feels. a life of routine mundane-ness. however, you can't really switch off, because your job is to be there just in case... just in case what, you may ask.. well.. that's just it.. just in case almost anything happens. if things screw up it's your head on the chopping block, hence the need to practice for a multitude of scenarios in simulator training. i'm quite certain that my job is nowhere near as risky, but the principle behind it is the same. i'm here to catch the ball if/when it falls. if things are going well, i'll be bored almost gormless like i am right now, hence this post. but if the gears aren't moving as they should, things get REALLY interesting. and not interesting in a good way.

one thing i must admit, being alone sure does give me oodles of time to be with myself and be comfortable being alone.

the car doors thud shut together. a gentle sea breeze softly envelopes us. the hem of her dress flutters in the breeze. moonlight reveals flashes of shimmery purple. she kicks off her heels , as i gently slip off my shoes and socks and roll up my pants legs. rising up, i hold out my hand, and she places her hand in mine. we stroll along the beach, just by the water's edge, always, almost getting wet, but never doing so. the cool, soft powdery sand squishing between our toes. we speak.. we speak of the evening that had passed. an evening that neither of us would probably forget for ages to come. we speak of what we want out of life. and then the speech ceases. we continue walking silently. not an awkward silence, but a comfortable one. the kind of silence that exists between two people who've known each other for ages and don't feel the need to talk incessantly.

i steal glances at her from the corner of my eye, for i feel that to gaze upon her fully would make this dream night crumble away into nothingness. she catches me surreptitiously gazing upon her, and she smiles. the moon in the heavens seems to fade away into darkness, as her smile becomes a grin which becomes infectious, and i too can't help myself. aahhh... how much more ludicrous can we get. "so..what are you staring at?" she asks. i stop and face her. whoever it was that said that the eyes are the windows to the soul sure wasn't lying. our eyes lock, and we sink deeper and deeper into each other. we could have been standing there for a minute or an hour. who knows? all concept of time was lost. then... a wave crashes a few metres from us, and the water laps around our feet, wetting them and pulling us out of our reverie.

"let's dance", she says. "but there's no music... how??" i reply. "who cares?!? you lead and i'll follow" is her rejoinder. and so i lead. i raise out my left hand, into which she places her delicate hand. as my fingers close around it, enveloping it fully, warmth flows... from her to me... and from me to her. i place my right hand on her back, just where the back of her dress starts. we start to do a waltz in the sand, which segues into a slow piece, that has my arm encircling her waist and her head leaning on my shoulder. we sway slowly to a tune that's only heard in my head.

after what could have been hours, she leans back and gazes up at me. she looks as if she's about to say something. her mouth opens. and closes. her eyes send me the invitation that the mouth failed to do. i lean forward, and i feel her warm breath already turning shallow as her mouth opens ever so slightly, beckoning me to enter. i take one last look at her face that seems beckoning me with every muscle, before i finally take the plunge. as our lips lock, in what is our first kiss i think to myself... it doesn't get better than this.